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Main article: XL (episode)

Act One[]

Star Command

In a science lab, a female scientist is operating some robotic, acid-filled arms and using them to melt through a piece of rock she's studying.

SCIENTIST: Close... almost got it...

Suddenly, something blows a hole in the wall and enters the lab. We can't see what it is, however.

SCIENTIST: Good heavens, what are you doing in there?!

VOICE (the intruder, who we can't see except for a pair of XR-like arms, reaches out a grabs one of the acid arms): Shopping!

He yanks it off, and acid drops from the ceiling and melts through the floor.

SCIENTIST: Stop, that's acid! Come back!

She tries to grab the intruder with the other arm, but he escapes before she can.

Cargo bay

A forklift-like robot is moving boxes in a cargo bay. Suddenly, an acid-filled arm shoots out and swipes off one of his legs.

VOICE (taking the leg): You won't miss this!

The robot is unbalanced and collapses, and the boxes it was carrying fall and crush it.

VOICE: Oops, my mistake.

Oh, yeah, sweet!

See, this was an... okay arm.

But I want better than okay.

I want something distinctive.

Works for me!

The latest in research robotics, stolen.

Our newest war-bot, pilfered.

This hi-tech crimewave poses a threat to machines, humans and every other lifeform in the galaxy.

We're on the case, Pop!

Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that?

Understood completely, Dad!

I'm not your dad. You were built by the LGMs.

For Pete's sake, I only signed the work order.

My point exactly, Papou!

Get your greasy arm off me, you stinkin'--

We'll get right on it, Commander.

Hang on here, he was gonna hug me.

Hug or punch.

Either way, a sure sign of affection.

Saddle up, team, we've got a lawbreaker to catch.

Buzz, there are so many robotic labs and factories out there.

We could never cover them all.

Who knows where he'll strike next?

Not me, I'm asking.

What if we choose his next target for him?

Oh, you're gonna set a trap.

Like the time you lured the troops of Colthart to Sentilla 4!

Ah, you know your Ranger history well, Booster.

Yes, but can he do this?

Thank you!

What do you propose we use as bait?

Good question. I'll need something highly advanced.

Uh, Buzz? I think I actually have a pretty good--

XR, of course!

Uh...

What robot connoisseur could resist you?

Whoa, whoa! Uh, I w--I was just gonna suggest the coffee machine.

It grinds its own beans. Latte, anyone?

Just think how proud your dad will be.

This one's for you, Pop.

That's the spirit!

Now, listen up, team. Here's the plan...

Good space day!

Brent Starkisser, Galact-a-vision.

I'm live at Star Command with legendary Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear.

Buzz, unofficial leaks suggest that Star Command has made a major robotics breakthrough! Any comment? Remember, we're live!

Sorry, Brent. This ground-breaking robotics discovery is top secret. But perhaps, I've... said too much.

I beg to differ, Ranger!

You've told me exactly what I need to know.

Surprise!

Oh, whoa--ow, yaow!

Turn that down, looks like somebody forgot to read the assembly instructons

You got some kind of problem, pipsqueak?

You're the problem, punk.

I am Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger.

By the authority of Star Command--

Here's what I think of Star Command, pal!

All right, Rangers. Let's take this pile of scrap.

Scrap!

Have you seen scrap do that, huh?

I don't think so!

We'll meet again, Space Rangers.

And when we do, it'll be a real hullabaloo.

We've gotta plug that hole or Star Command will be sucked inside-out!

Uh, guys? I really don't see this as a permanent fix.

We got you!

You pull, I'll seal!

Good work, XR.

Now let's go find that robo-trash.

Now all you gotta do is keep your eye on the pod.

Like I really need to tell a sharpie such as yourself.

You've been around, you know what the angles are,

am I right? Am I right!

Okay, chief, pick.

Oh, tough break, my friend.

But hey, you wanna play, you gotta pay.

Hey!

Can I play too?

Huh?

C'mon, man! I dunno nothing!

Come on, Crumford. There isn't a dirty, underhanded scheme in the galaxy that you don't know about.

Okay, true!

Only I don't talk to nobody but Buzz.

Fine. Who needs to talk?

Ew, ack! This place needs a good cleaning.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

What're you doing in there, that's my brain and stuff.

Robot parts. Big ones. Stolen recently.

Who's behind it?

Aw, I don't know!

Gee, I hope I don't get things all "scrambled" in here,

All right, all right, I'll tell ya!

Now could you remove your hand from my brain?

Stinkin' Tangeans, you gimme the creeps.

Start talking.

Ah, there's this robot, kinda screwy.

Always on the lookout for bigger and better parts.

What's his name?

Hm, I'm not sure he ever gave me a name, perse.

Mmkay, one brain omelette, coming up!

XL! That's all I know, that's it!

Aw, there we go, now was that so hard?

No luck, Buzz.

I've checked the entire system.

No name, no model number, nothing.

If people would just send in that warranty card--

Buzz! Come in, Buzz!

Go ahead, Mira.

We got it. The robot's name is XL.

Uh-oh.

That's X as in "x-ray". L as in "loser". Then that--that's it. Yeah, that's it. XL. Pretty much it's spelled like it sounds...

No lead on his whereabouts!

Good work, Nova. Come on home. Lightyear, out.

What do you know of this XL?

- Uh... nothing, Buzz, uh...

- Oh, look at the time.

- Gotta jet.

Buzz! There is a file on XL.

Wait a minute--but it's top secret.

Restricted for the commander's eyes only.

That's odd.

It looks like I have no choice.

I'm going to have to open... the XL file.

Hey, that fella's quite a looker.

That's XL. The robot Star Command developed before XR.

You mean I have a big brother?

Families don't keep secrets like this, Dad!

Listen! I'm not your--ugh, never mind.

What happened to the XL Project, sir?

It was a dismal failure, that's what!

I deactivated XL and that was the end of it. 'Til now.

Ooh. The plot thickens.

You mean...?

Yes. The thief is one of our own.

He's using those stolen parts to rebuild himself.

I can't believe it. My own flesh and blood.

What flesh, what blood! You're a machine!

The XL debacle convinced me a robot Ranger's a bad idea.

We slipped the XR paperwork in with the vacation request.

But you're glad to have me, right, Dad? Dad? Dad?

Don't press your luck, junior.

Back off, or I'll blast ya!

All right, where do I sign?

Hi, there!

How'd you get in here?

Star Command's security codes are still programmed into my memory. Lucky for me, huh?

Lousy robots.

Nice try. Now get lost!

So, uh, what do you think of the new me, Commander?

Or, should I say, "Dad"?

You and I need to get reacquainted.

Spend a little quality time together.

"Father and son".

Act Two[]

I still can't believe that the thief is a Star Command robot.

I can't believe the thief is my brother.

I can't believe I have a brother!

I can't believe--no, wait, no, that covers about everything I can't believe.

So we know who it is.

Now the question is where.

Buzz, look!

The commander's desk!

I think it's trying to tell us something.

I-It's okay. I speak office furniture.

Swat! No, no, uh--kit! Um! You and the commander were playing baseball! No, oh!

Please, pardon me, pardon me. You think Mira's [corn] of the market on mind-reading? Well, watch this.

Commander Nebula is in grave danger!

Wait a minute! And he's days behind in his paperwork.

What happened?

A robot. A large, strange-looking robot.

XL!

XL!

Hey, who's telling this story?

Oh, no. It knocked Dad out! And carried him away!

Families. Have you ever known one without a black sheep?

Where did they go?

It says its a desk, not a travel agent.

Boy, nothing worse than furniture with an attitude.

What--what's that? [New amp?] Hey, good idea.

Desk says XL knew a lot about the project.

Maybe he's been looking at the files.

The computer files on the XL project have been hacked into and XL's electronic fingerprints are all over it!

Doesn't he realize what he's doing to the X family name?

Can you trace back to the point of inquiry?

It won't be easy. Mainly because I'm not sure what you mean.

Make it happen, it's the commander's only chance.

Let's move out, Rangers!

Now you're gonna find out how it feels to be deactivated.

And here's a hint: it's not a lot of fun!

Who're you kiddin'?

You can't pull it off.

You were flawed then and you're flawed now.

Flaws? What flaws!

Do you seee any flaws?

That was the [older] XL.

I made myself better, and stronger than Star Command ever could!

Oh, please.

Give me some credit. I-I worked hard to better myself!

This body is made of the finest components in the galaxy.

It's your noggin' I'm worried about!

Screwball.

You've got a smart mouth, old man.

So, my creator! Ready for your last meal?

I'll be eating flapjacks tomorrow at Star Command, you big hunk of junk!

Don't call me names, or you're really gonna get it!

Get what, you sorry mess of metal?

What's that?

That's bad news for you, you overgrown toaster oven!

XR, if your coordinates are right, XL's home should be visible just about now.

No sign of his home. Just that... humongous asteroid!

It's coming right at us!

Or isn't that obvious?

Evasive action!

Buzz! That asteroid is XL's home!

Boy, you could get a lot of land when you buy this far out.

Oh, really? I bet he wasn't expecting this.

Bet they weren't expecting that!

See, dents you can always bang out, trust me on that,

but that last one was a bruise.

Hold on, Rangers!

No doubt this will get worse before it gets better!

Gee, I'd hate to be out in a little Star Cruiser in a storm like this.

How 'bout you, Daddy Dearest?

I'm through talkin' to you.

Not the "silent" treatment. Aw, anything but that!

This storm is ripping us apart, Buzz!

And we're losing power!

We'll need to step up to auxiliary thrusters.

Now that's a terrific idea, and could we do it sometime soon, maybe?

That's better.

Uh... Buzz?

Hold on to your jetpacks!

Just a precaution, mind you.

Act Three[]

Hey, Rangers! How do you like those asteroids?

My Rangers have been in tougher scrapes than this a thousand times. They're not gonna panic.

Uh, Buzz, if I may? I know you're busy, but I think you oughtta turn the ship!

You can't rush precision, XR--now!

Hot rockets! Buzz did it again!

Now! Where were we...?

Ah, yes. Our twisted, robotic adversary.

Easy, Buzz. That's my brother you're talking about.

Mi familia.

Well, then. It's time for a... family reunion.

Some kind of forcefield is holding us back.

Try again.

I've constructed the most technologically-advanced defense system money can buy! Except, of course, I stole everything.

Bla, bla, bla.

Hmm, bro's happy home is apparently equipped with a high frequency defense shield.

Then jam it! The commander doesn't have much time!

Well, it's not that easy, sir, this is pretty sophisticated stuff. There are complicated calculations, a lot of tricky reprogramming--okay, I'm done.

Good work, Ranger.

I only hope it ultimately brings my family closer together.

My shield can't be jammed like that!

Robo-traitor!

You're always one step behind, aren't ya, tin can?

That's why I pulled your plug!

That was then! I've got a back-up plan. [To--and-and-and-and] my back-up's got back-ups!

Booster, take out those guns before they do some real damage.

Okay, Buzz. Commencing damage prevention procedures.

Nice work.

What is it with these people!

These aren't just people. They're something you can never be. Space Rangers.

You won't leave it alone, will ya?

You just have to keep poking!

Okay, no other choice.

I'm gonna get rid of you right now before your precious Space Rangers can get here!

Too late.

Greetings and welcome.

Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

Hey! I can't move!

See? I made that net!

Hang on, Booster!

It's some sort of... gravitational field!

Made that too. Pretty nifty, huh?

Not so scrappy now, huh?

You okay, Dad?

For now. Would you get me out of here, XR?

You mean "son", right?

Yes. Son.

Oh, I'll have you out in a jiff, papare, pop, son, He-called-me-son!

Sneaking around in plain sight. How many engineers did it take to come up with that programming?

You're no brother of mine!

Yeah? I'm big, I'm bad!

When I destroy Star Command, the whole galaxy will know that I am a [force!]

Good one, XR!

Ya see that, rust bucket?

XR's a true Space Ranger!

This is the happiest moment of my life!

Buzz, forget XL! Get my head back on my body!

All right, two can play at this game!

Wait! Stop! Don't listen to him.

I'm your friend!

- Good job!

- Way to go, XR!

Are you okay, sir?

Yeah. Thanks, XR.

Aww, go on, Dad.

Outstanding job, Rangers.

You can always count on us, sir.

You know what, XR? You got something that twisted bucket of bolts will never have.

Ya got heart.

What was that? Did you hear what he said? Hey! What does he have that I don't? I need to know!

Oh, Dad, I knew you cared!

Oh, hey, Pop! Uh, I was thinking!

The Star Command Father-Son Picnic coming up next week--

- Hey!

- I know I won't be much help...

- Don't [start]!

- with the pie-eating contest, but say we--

- No!

- [...] I mean, come on--

There's one thing that bothers me, Buzz.

XL was completely deactivated and in storage.

So... who turned him back on?

I've got a pretty good idea...

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